My first post for this blog was as a guest almost a year ago. Kata asked me to write a gift guide for women on Valentine’s Day that didn’t know what to buy for a man they had been dating for a short period of time. Since I excel at dating women for a short period of time, the post came naturally to me. I avoided naming specific gifts and instead focused on two overarching principles: Show him you know what he likes and don’t scare him away. A V-Day gift is special because it is supposed to be romantic. Christmas, on the other hand, is all about pure American materialism. Thus, I am going to throw out some small, medium and big ticket items that have struck my fancy this winter and a link where they can be bought. To the gifts!
Stocking Stuffers
Staying Fresh Aid – Gentlemen like to remain neat and clean, especially on their cuffs and collars. Leave it to the English to invent a classy alternative to the Tide pen. The Laundress Wash and Stain bars are easy to use for spot cleaning and can be used on trips for quick stain removal. ($6)
Hood Coloring Book – Sometimes you want to see what Slick Rick would look like with a robin’s egg blue eye patch. Sometimes you want to memorialize Big L, 2Pac or Biggie Smalls. And sometimes you want to make up a crazy plaid to put on Andre 3000′s lapels. This cheap and awesome coloring book by Aye Jay is a must for that special hip hop lover in your life. ($9)
Rugged Booze Transporter – Don’t listen to your dirtbag little cousin: No one wants to carry around or drink booze out of a ziplock bag. I don’t care if you can put in between your cheeks when going through security and drink for cheap at the Lady Antebellum concert. This flask by Stanley is high quality stainless steel that looks awesome and carries just enough booze (8 oz.) to make sure you don’t lose your buzz or your cool. ($20)
Mid-Range Gifts
Proper Dress Shirts – As documented exquisitely by TheYouFinder’s Katalina, there is a conspicuous need for many gentlemen to wear appropriately fitting shirts for work and play. The average American man is fat, so men’s shirts are generally made for fat men. As a non-fat man, I settle for “fitted” and “slim cut” dress shirts often, but there is nothing like a personally tailored shirt. Hugh and Crye make excellent shirts and they are of a reasonable price. Spend a little extra to make him look like a million (or at least a thousand) bucks. ($85-$115)
Woody Apple Products – My coworker Kaitlin was sooooooooo excited when the iPhone 4S came out she had already purchased the carrying case. Her’s is a cute Kate Spade polka dotted affair, and it is appropriate for a lady. A gentleman, on the other hand, needs to project rugged individualism and a sense of style. These wooden iPhone, iPad and MacBook cases by Root Cases have clean lines, different wood grains and a look you don’t find on many city dwellers. ($59-$99)
Animal-Based Wall Hangings – Often, home decor that is a throwback to an earlier era makes a room look more homey and fun. In my bedroom, I have my hats hanging on a clothesline with clothespins. You know, a little tenement-housing-in-the-lower-east-side-turn-of-the-century thing. These antlers from antler & co. come with supplies to mount them on drywall: Hang ties, necklaces, lightweight hoodies, whatever seems right. Nothing like a little Americana to make a room pop. ($50-$130)
Fancy Pants Big Ass Presents
Big Old Box Sets – Television is generally a world of talent competitions featuring untalented people, reality shows featuring unreal people and sports. However, there are some excellent shows no longer on the air that can take up months of cold winter evenings snuggled up with a significant other or, if you want, a full-size body pillow. We have all had times, like James Franco, when we’ve been there, so no judgments. The Sopranos and The Wire are two of the best dramas to ever grace the boob tube and would be a great gift for any story lover. For the more adventurous, Lost is an excellent show that will keep you saying “WHAT THE F–K?!?!!?” for the entirety of the series. If you’re going to watch TV, do it without ads and don’t wait for next week. ($100-$200)
Unique Globe – A map is a great cultured conversation piece and people love to have them around. The ubiquity of Ork posters in the homes of young urbanites is testament to cartographical interest. This globe by Michele Varian has the outlines of the continents painted on matte metal and it can be drawn on with chalk. Thus, one can shape their world to their own geopolitical fancy, reality be damned. I would make Canada part of America (it’s our hat, after all) and reincorporate the village from where my great-grandparents were forced into Armenia proper. Take that, Turkish nationalists! ($450)
Ultimate Old Fashioned Accessory - I have a soft spot for classic cocktails, especially the old fashioned, the quintessential gentleman’s beverage. At some upscale speakeasies, the bartenders extract well-formed pieces of ice from giants blocks so they melt slowly in the cocktail for the ideal drinking experience. The folks at Drinksology have cut out the middleman with their Ice Ball Maker. This machine creates a perfect sphere of ice to fit inside an old fashioned glass. They even have a video of it in action! Yes, it’s messy, wasteful, decadent and cumbersome. But if you’re rich, who gives a s–t? (£595)
So there you have it, a few gift ideas from your old pal James. There are so many more things out there to show you care so don’t feel hemmed in by lists or society’s standards. Be creative, be thoughtful and have fun! It’s the American pastime, after all.
James
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